The stages of goth.
DENIAL: "I am so not a goth."
ANGER: "Fuck you, I'm sick of goths!"
BARGAINING: "I wear these boots because they're comfortable, and black happens to be slimming on me. Look, my jacket is brown."
DEPRESSION: "Oh Ghod, normals actually suck worse."
ACCEPTANCE: "Listen, kid, I see gother things than you after my morning dump."