May 15th, 2012

seventhseal chess

The thin ice

Gym yesterday, as always, was spent trying to get into the world of the book I was reading; swimming was a little better, at least there wasn't the awful loud trashy music from the addressing system you get in the gym. Showered, washed my hair, went to the changing room. And then something happened ,to me which I find extraordinarily difficult to describe.

I started remembering, or so I thought, dreams I had had. I can't remember any of the contents or even the images in them and what little I can bring up seems to be complete nonsense, in the way of dreams. But for a minute or two it all sort of made terrifying sense, there were connections between those dreams and the real world that I had never seen. I was feeling a little dizzy as well so the part of my mind that was still functioning normally was wondering whether I was having a sugar low. Or a stroke. Or simply going mad. The whole thing lasted only a few minutes and receded little by little, I changed and put away my gym/swimming pool gear, left the place waving good-byes to the staff, hopefully all normally. On the street, though, when crossing path with a couple of teenage boys, complete strangers, one asked whether I was ok.

On getting home, I emailed a friend trying to describe to her what had happened but didn't hear back from her. I still was feeling a little strange, a pupil's lesson was due in a short while so I just got on with it, I had no choice. But it did remind me again of what thin ice we so carelessly walk on, without thinking and without ever knowing how thin it is and where or when it could break. And that's the way it has to be.

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